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Slow, Rusty and Crap [is where it's at]

Where the lost, lonely and mentally ill can now be found chatting about MISERABLE motor vehicles. No O/T posts.

Slow, Rusty and Crap [is where it's at]

Postby I.K.Brunel » Mon Aug 12, 2013 4:45 pm

So after a bit of an old-car hiatus, another piece of old grot has arrived here at Brunel Towers.

In a change to the usual form, this has been selected by Mrs_Brunel based on the usual female criteria of 'it looks cute'.
Though obviously we employed the tried and proven* method of bidding on eBay without seeing it based on a one-line description and possibly* when we'd both had a small* drink....

This meant having to travel to an unpleasant part of Essex to collect and the inevitable heart-in-mouth first journey home.
Of course I had to do this solo, making it an even less appealing task. Nevertheless, TCoB (or perhaps just TCoMS) failed to strike me down and I made it back with no bother at all, and despite an aching back and ringing ears a huge grin on my face.

Let's not beat about the bush though. This car is pretty much a massive crock of shit. If it was non-scene-taxed car you'd be appalled to spend so much on a collection of oxide, fibreglass and questionable stick-on modifications. I lifted the carpets and wished I hadn't as I was greeted by several agricultural-grade repairs, and there's bits I dare not prod. Also, one of the lights was hanging off, the direction lamps are inoperative and there was an alarming amount of slop in the steering (though this was an easy fix) - this is a car that had done 20 miles since the last MoT (presumably done by mail-order). But that's what you get for your money when you buy a Mini I suppose. Fixing those blatant fails is at least easy (can't understand why they weren't done properly tbh) and it is just about structurally sound for now.

Luckily I have also scored all the bits which I need both metal and electrical and whatnot for £150 of my pal, so I can crack on with doing stuff at my leisure. Many of the stick-on stuff has already been binned off and more is scheduled to go so that the car is less of a cliche.

And for all the bad points (of which there are lots), this car is immense, huge fun. Nailing it round town is utterly grin-inducing, the little 998 whizzing away, the gearbox whining, the exhaust all parpy. The rifle-bolt action of the gearchange and dodgem-car handling mean that it just begs to be driven hard. It's a great bit of nostagia, because of rather than in spite of it's down-at-heel-ness - this is just how I remember Mini's being when I had them in the late 90's... cheap*, grotty and fun fun fun.

[*OK, not cheap... about nine times what my one cost in 1997]

Anyway.... [PICS]

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Lies!
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Brrrm!
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Little car for little people
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I.K.Brunel
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Re: Slow, Rusty and Crap [is where it's at]

Postby Paul H » Mon Aug 12, 2013 9:19 pm

I was expecting another old Land-Rover! Nice to see a late Issigonis Mini that isn't trying to be a '60s one, or has those awful wide arches... I've never had the chance to drive one, but can imagine what they are like, as that description fits for quite a few A Series powered cars.

Btw, did those OT mags arrive ok?
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Re: Slow, Rusty and Crap [is where it's at]

Postby I.K.Brunel » Mon Aug 12, 2013 9:41 pm

Yes, OT arrived just fine thanks :)
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Re: Slow, Rusty and Crap [is where it's at]

Postby start » Mon Aug 12, 2013 10:28 pm

Very Very suspicious of this, I think you secretly want to drive this more than you are letting on !!!
1990 Audi 200 turbo Quattro SOLD
1995 Vauxhall Corsa CDX SOLD
Bought 1989 Citroen BX16 TRS
start
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Re: Slow, Rusty and Crap [is where it's at]

Postby Walter_Bo11ox » Tue Aug 13, 2013 12:03 am

If this was a bit older I would have a remote hope of selling you the A+ 998 unleaded head that i've been tripping over in my garage for the last few months, sadly its too new! CURSES
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Re: Slow, Rusty and Crap [is where it's at]

Postby Seth » Tue Aug 13, 2013 11:33 am

Looks just like 99% of the minis you used to still see buzzing around the place all the time about 10 years ago. Hopefully it won't need too much mig action when you eventually do go digging. :)
Not Always Auto

Rootes built Cortinas under licence and just changed the badging.
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Re: Slow, Rusty and Crap [is where it's at]

Postby Walter_Bo11ox » Tue Aug 13, 2013 4:37 pm

"RUBY"
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Re: Slow, Rusty and Crap [is where it's at]

Postby Amazo » Tue Aug 13, 2013 5:38 pm

Walter_Bo11ox wrote:"RUBY"

"MURRAY"
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Re: Slow, Rusty and Crap [is where it's at]

Postby I.K.Brunel » Sun Nov 02, 2014 11:10 am

An update, of sorts...

Really not very much has happened with this small pile of oxide in the last year. We cleaned off the offensive stick-on lettering and removed the crap St George cross from the roof & mirrors. Then just hooned about in it for a bit.

A combination of events, including but not limited to my bike accident, winter and a painful & protracted house move meant that it kinda got neglected for several months. In June it was run for a few minutes for the purpose of relocating to the garage at the new house, wherein it was promptly buried under a load of old junk.

Yesterday I managed to tidy the garage such that I could wheel it out for a play. Summary of findings:
* Rust does not appear to have progressed significantly (the joy of dry, warm indoors storage)
* Brakes are sticky
* No sign of any kind of electrical life at all. Even when connected to a beefy power source. ARSEHATS

(Oh yeah, at some point I changed the wheels too, because not M*n*l*t*s)

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Re: Slow, Rusty and Crap [is where it's at]

Postby Amazo » Sun Nov 02, 2014 1:51 pm

Well, if you're bored of it...;-)
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