A Car Show in Wakefield - Again

[Hirst]

Right, this is a car show which was originally cancelled due to rain and then rescheduled. Good job really as I'd have never known it was happening. I didn't bring anything interesting, so I parked under some trees instead.


Ford Escort 1.3 Linnet by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

First thing I saw was this beauty, the Linnet was basically just a runout model with weird stripes. Probably some other stuff.


Ford Escort XR3i by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Parked next to an XR3i which was mint and standard, as seems to be how they usually are nowadays.


Peugeot 309 and Ford Escort - DUAL QUALITY by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Then I saw THIS duo and sobbed with delight, before going to inspect them in great detail. They both had Shawfold stickers on the back, which is a local showroom. I suspect they hid these away in a shed and then decided to bring them out later.


Peugeot 309 Style by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

First up was the 309, just look at it. It was astoundingly mint and had done somewhere in the region of 20K.


Peugeot 309 Style by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Look at that rear!


Peugeot 309 Style: Engine by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

COR. Right, enough of that, next!


Ford Escort 1.4 LX Orion by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

This was the crossover where the saloon became an Escort, except it was badged as an Orion as well. I love aero Escorts.


Ford Escort 1.4 LX Orion by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

And I love how the saloon ones remain with these back lights all the way along. God, look at that arch return.


Ford Escort 1.4 LX Orion: Engine by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Holding it open. Filth.


Ford Cortina by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Here's a 2-door Cortina which came rolling in, I seem to recall it had some kind of V8 or whatever.


Ford Cortina 1.6 GL by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

This one's more my style though.


Jaguar XJ by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

I've seen this before parked outside "Big In Booze". Check out the sills, it'll be ideal for your welding day.


Chevrolet Camaro by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

GRAN TURISMO


Vauxhall Cresta by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Hot hot hot! Crestas come in some fairly insipid colours and always manage to look astoundingly ace.


Reliant Rebel City by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Barrett's life summed up in a single photograph.


Illegal Gypsy Site by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

This caravan was the source of some CRAZY commentary as usual, with some old windbag going on about how the Deputy Assistant to the Secretary of the Mayoress was going to be here to do the judging or something or other who cares man, I'm off to look at this Escort.


Ford Escort 1.3 L by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Bit rough around the edges but hell, it'll do. To be fair it was only really the bonnet which looked a bit weird, it was solid enough.


Pontiac Firebird by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

"KITT, this phone bill's a fortune! What's this 0891 number?"


Ford Anglia by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

The guy in the Anglia had never seen a hi-vis jacket before, that's why he looks so delighted.


Vauxhall Chevette L by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

I've seen this Chevette too many times, fed up of it now. Nah just kidding, it's ace.


Austin A40 Countryman by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Grey porridge.


Ford Capri 1600 GT XLR by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

What do you even get on an XLR? They always seem to have black sills. Is that it?


MG B GT by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Rubber-bumper MGB and the IAMS club, who had inexplicably stuck some masking tape over their phone number.


Triumph Herald by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Go on then, who's going on the website first?


Saab 99 by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

This Saab 99 must be one of the oldest left, looks insane on black/silvers. Irritatingly I couldn't get a bonnet down shot, but I know where it lives as of today so maybe later eh. It was pretty mint and for sale, £1495 I think? It had a load of MOT too.


Ford XR3 by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

XR3 for a change.


Ford Consul Capri GT by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

These are pretty damn tasty, I think just due to the sheer amount of styling cues on display all at once. It's overwhelming.


Ford Consul Capri GT by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

HOT ASS


MG B GT by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Here's a white MGB. See that guy in the background in a blue shirt with a drink? I think I know him from somewhere and that's the main reason I took the picture. Can't remember who he is or where I know him from though. Think he might have been in the warehouse I worked in over ten years ago, but I'm really not too sure to be honest. Interesting story eh?


Ford Escort 1.3 L by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Vauxhall were the king of tedious-looking colours in the 80s, but this was a pretty strong contender from Ford. Those trims look like MK4 ones.


Austin A30 by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Oh, the A30 - such a sweet little car, the kind of thing you see in twee period dramas. Except this one, which would chin you easy. I never thought it'd be possible to make an A30 look hard, but this combination of black paint, pitted chrome and Rostyles makes me want to curl up into a ball and start pleading not to have my head kicked in.


Bedford HA: British Telecom by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

I have a dream about the current BT Internet adverts where a yellow HA van turns up and runs over the two student lads in the most gruesome and violent way possible, which upsets that student bird so much that she immediately disrobes and starts putting- (EDIT)


MG Midget: Ashley Hardtop by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Amazingly weird "Ashley" hardtop makes the Midget look like some weird minature supercar, what a looker! Never seen one before.


Rover Maestro Clubman Diesel by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

This late jacked-up CKD Maestro was inexplicably parked outside the show, should have come in. What a colour! Must have been some kind of misguided attempt to sell them to the army.


Triumph 2500S Estate by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Here's an interesting story - Vicsmith witnessed the paint being bought for this months back. Still wants a bit of buffing.


Jaguar E-Type by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

E-Types are usually a bit tedious at car shows just due to the fact that one always turns up, but when it's in a mad bloody orange it kind of changes it up.


Wolseley 6/80 by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Talking of mad paint, check out this weird metallic on this Wolseley.


Alfa Romeo Montreal by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

STUNNING. Montreal is on my dream car list, I would love to drive one around in a black rollneck, puffing cigars and punching women. Just look at the bloody headlights, it's all slatty! If you don't like that, you might as well go and die, because if not I'll go and kill you myself.


Ford Mustang by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Rather staid-looking Mustang with whitewalls and general chintz, it was a V8 too!


Ford Sierra Sapphire 1.6 Azura by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Azura, these always look smart, mainly due to limited colour choices.


Vauxhall Nova 1.0 Saloon by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Nova had the stretched wheels and all that, look at the seats though! Tried to get a better photo of them and failed unfortunately, sorry about that.

More to come!

[Hirst]

Here's some more horrible photos of horrible cars for horrible men with horrible lives and horrible faces mostly (it's subjective).


The Sky by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

By this point it was absurdly sunny, so the pictures are a bit glarey. If you've got a problem with that, TAKE A WALK.


Ford Fiesta 1.1 Ghia by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Fiesta Ghia caused a minor ripple in the tyre shine market.


Jaguar E-Type by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

You think the orange E-Type was good? THIS IS THE BEST.


Vauxhall Cavalier 2.0 GLi by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

This was just in the car park, which for a 2.0 GLi road weapon is just unacceptable really.


Mercedes-Benz 500 SEL by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Seriously, a 500 SEL isn't worth showing? The guy who owns this must be genuinely crackers, either that or he just parked up for a slash.


Reliant Rialto GLS by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Rialto peeking through the fence. Bless.


Ford Mustang by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Those are some big wheels, I quite like them and I can't remember what they're called. Doesn't really matter though, it's not like I'm suddenly going to find I can buy them a handful of coppers. It's like anything in a supermarket which costs more than a quid, they might as well just keep it all behind a shutter with the cigarettes as far as I'm concerned.


Trolley by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Someone brought this stunning 1978 Shopmaster 225, it was a barn find. I believe the chromework has been restored but other than that it's completely as it left the factory, it turned a few heads and upset the applecart at the concours judging, more about that later.


Rover 3500 by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

ROVERDOSE


Triumph Spitfire by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

What a colour choice! Looks like a battleship and I have no problem with that.


Toyota Celica GT by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Tried to get a good photo of this last year and failed, did better this time on account of less CRETINS milling about.


Vauxhall Astra GTE by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Has anyone seen that episode of Waiting for God where the guy who runs the place buys an Astra GTE as some kind of midlife crisis car? No? Well, perhaps you'd better buck your ideas up, eh?


Vauxhall Astra 1.6 L by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

BEAUTIFUL! I'll never quite get over the valance on these, they look so awkward and homebrew. Probably quite useful in a way as you could make a new one out of an old box.


Vauxhall Cavalier 1.6 GLS by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

1.6 GLS for luxury and economy, ideal for the sort of men who buy washable suits. RACE YOU TO THE HAPPY EATER


Honda Prelude by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Seen this driving around town before, it's a bit rough around the edges, but most of you are no oil painting either (unless it's by H.R. Giger).


Chevrolet Silverado by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

This thing just wants to plummet off a cliff, you could spend all day looking at it all. There's POETRY on the bumper. It was playing weird old American music and there were some people sat around the back of it. Seriously, why bother? I wish an American turned up and went "HEY THIS IS REALLY CRUMMY" or whatever Americans sound like, I don't really know as my only reference point is a worn-out copy of Porky's II.


BMW 318is by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Oh, get bent. The lines aren't even in the right place. You'll be surprised to hear that the workmanship wasn't of particularly high quality. I guess when you have an idea like painting a wonky union flag on the bonnet of your German car you aren't really in a position to ring some custom place and spend £10K on having it done, not unless it was the day after you received your compensation for being a cretin.


Leyland T45 320 Chargecooled by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

I mostly ignored the lorries as I've seen most of them before, but not this one. What a beast!


Vauxhall Corsa Combo by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

This was around the corner, I hope somebody saw me taking a picture of it and wrote me off as mad and shook their head or whatever.


Citroën GS by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

This was nice, got a few pictures of it and this is the only one that came out well - nice work, me.


Trolley: AGAIN by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

Anyway, the concours judging got out of hand, there were some harsh words, emotions ran high, then this happened. It still looks saveable but it's a real shame considering how much of a minter it was just a few hours ago. It's a real shame to see this kind of thing at an event for people who are supposedly fans of things like this, but the politics of local shows lead to some absolutely stomach-churning things. I blame that guy with the microphone, he could have solved it with his hilarious improv, but chose to look on in silence.


Some People by Dan Hirst?, on Flickr

The police were called and this guy turned up. The investigation basically involved him standing rooted to the spot whilst people made awkward half-smiles at him in that kind of way you do when you see a copper and want to somehow convince him of your innocence and make him leave at the same time.

Anyway, that was my visit to the Wakefield Car Show! Hope you enjoyed and I'll see you-

[Leonard Hatred]

Enjoyed that, THX.
The 309 is a cracker, nice that it has a TU engine instead of the old Talbot knocker, though I think all late 309s had TUs.
I've not noticed Escort Orion badged cars before, did they sell them for about 3 weeks? There's quite a bit of oddness in 90s Ford, I remember a couple of people complaining to BBC Watchdog ages ago about some weird Escort GTi estate which didn't appear on any insurance databases.
Early SAAB 99 is lovely too, I don't think they lasted very long before the federal spec headlights and indicators came in.

[trigger]

Brilliant Hirst!, I really miss your commentary on threads like this, I'm laughing my moobs off over that trolley.

I'd really fancy a go on the Saab, It looks PHAT and sounds like a bloody good price too, good job I'm skint!

[Mash]

ROFL

That's really quite a bizarre selection of vehicles, there aren't many shows where you'd get quite a number of mundane 80s and 90s saloons and hatches on display like that. I suppose it's difficult to terms with that 1992 is twenty years ago!

Love the captions Dan and that sinister ice cream van will give me nightmares for the week to come I'm sure!

[Richard]

The evil ice cream van makes a great finale.

I suppose for people a bit older than us a combination of proper vintage stuff and 1970s cars would seem quite bizarre, in fact I remember a long running debate in PC about whether early 70s cars could be called classics.

That SAAB is great, it'll be a 1709cc with a freewheel for extra excitement going down steep hills.

[Seth]

A good report. I'd give you an A* but they didn't have them in my day. SO you'll have to do with a C-

SAAB is my favourite too. But then I'm quirky and wear funny glasses.