Fun* for all the family

[Ozzy Mandeus]

ScatFront by scaryoldcortina, on Flickr

Scat-Trumps. I found this less than high quality knockoff Top Trump game earlier today, and as I'm off sick and bored silly I scanned them all, then decided to edit the (rather boring) statistics in an attempt to make the game more fun*


ScatTrumpsRules by scaryoldcortina, on Flickr

The only change I've made to the "rules" is that first, you are allowed to lie, so if your opponent doesn't ask for your card to verify what you said, that's his lookout, and second if a player wishes to use the "supertramp" card he must stand up and sing "Dreamer" as loudly as possible or it doesn't count.

All statistics on the cards are true* and stolen from the internet as recently as this afternoon. MPG is derived from engine size and acceleration (not accurate) and "Scat Factor" is a mysterious quantity intended to express how joyless owning and driving this particular car might be. Higher numbers = more grim. Cars made of plastic have a penalty applied to their weighbridge price.

I recommend for the best playing experience to print off each set of four, then carefully (with an adult's help) cut out the cards. DO NOT try to cut them out of your iPad with a stanley knife. If you do, I won't buy you a new one, and will probably laugh.
POSH

ScatTrumpsA by scaryoldcortina, on Flickr
PLUSH

ScatTrumpsB by scaryoldcortina, on Flickr
POINTY

ScatTrumpsC by scaryoldcortina, on Flickr
POINTLESS

ScatTrumpsD by scaryoldcortina, on Flickr
BLAND

ScatTrumpsE by scaryoldcortina, on Flickr
UGGERS

ScatTrumpsF by scaryoldcortina, on Flickr
GRIM

ScatTrumpsG by scaryoldcortina, on Flickr
SUNDRY GRIM, POINTY AND UGGERS

ScatTrumpsH by scaryoldcortina, on Flickr

Enjoy*

[tone_depear]

That is a proper treat!

[Walter_Bo11ox]

I used to have those cards!!! I never did find out what 'super trump' meant, any ideas?

[tone_depear]

I think it's where it goes right through on to the seat.

[Ozzy Mandeus]

TEH RULEZ says the Supertramp card takes all others regardless of technical data (except A1, B1, C1, D1 etc).

I prefer tone's explaination though, which also covers the reason behind brown velour

[Walter_Bo11ox]

I used to love playing top trumps with FATHA_BO1, though I remember playing a game of it once and suddenly having a realisation that it was actually pretty damn boring, after which I don’t think i played it again although i still liked having all the cards just to look at.

[tone_depear]

I went off top trumps in primary school when everyone stopped playing with my car ones in preference of other peoples' MARVEL SUPERHERO ones, or whatever. RUBBISH.

[Ozzy Mandeus]

Conor stopped wanting to play top trumps (dr who edition) when he caught me card-counting.

[I.K.Brunel]

My kids wouldn't want to play 'top trumps', as it does not involve badgering me for months for a 'membership upgrade' to 'unlock more levels'.

A couple of points of order:
1. The number of remaining Scimitars seems spuriously high. Are you counting ones owned/pwned by Autofive in that figure?
2. Some of your internet mpg's seem almost sensible, like they are the ACTUAL figures. Any fule know that Internet MPG is calculated as actual+40% bullshit quotient.
3. Whoever thinks they can get fourteen large for an old LWB Land Rover needs their head examining.

That is all (for now). Otherwise an excellent [if somewhat spurious] exercise. TOP TRUMPING.

[Ozzy Mandeus]

1 - No, Just what HML says for "Scimitar GTE" - probably includes SE6/6A/Princess Anne in those figures. Also see Morgan 4/4, which probably includes every one built.

2 - I know What I actually did was use the Power, top speed and capacity (all metric) from the original card and use the formula (1/Capacity) x power x top speed x 20. No science behind it, just a number generator.

3 - There is one listed on eBay right now on a classified ad.